The Greatest Parody

Look at me, I'm so legit!
My threats to you are full of shit!
I'll make you feel so goddamn small!
At five feet, I am standing tall!

Na na na na, boo boo boo boo
That is what I say to you you
My skewed wisdom takes me back to junior high
But ask me if I care, cause I just made you cry

Worship me
I'm a parody
The kind of thing that's tailor made for South Park
And I've built up
Enough chutzpah
To get the cunning of a plastic shark

Honey, let me tell you
I redid the whole word "stereotype"-AND
I know your teenage little brother's
Little sister's
Distant cousin's
Ugly girlfriend's
Pet dog's
Favorite BAND

I'm better than you
Simply because
I dance reggaeton
UNTIL
I hump the floor
And then the floor
Calls me a whore
And then I get AIDS
Even though
The floor told me
It got tested
No worries, though
I'm still the best

And I'm still better than you, my friend
I'm still better than you, my friend
I'm still better than you, bitch

Better than you, cause I'm so damn cool
Better than you, cause I ruled high school
With an iron fist
Don't enter my clique
I'll beat your ass with my magic stick

OH...
And one last thing
As I'm almost done singing...

If I were famous, my name would be Mocha
So you better get your caffeine fixes ready


Because you know I'll be famous
Once I'm out of this wet box
In the middle of New York City
And the pigeons stop eating my money.

Fly In My Drink

There
Is
A
Fly in my drink
And I'm starting to think
That my luck's on the brink
Ever since you told me
That one half of the bed
Seemed a bit more cozy

I soon realize
That I'm not drinking anything
And the poor old fly
Is drowning
In my
Pity party

My gloom made it nauseous
I've become so obnoxious
Since you sucked the life right out of me

I
Hope
You
Choke on the words you said
And the shallow waters that you tread
Are infested with piranhas
That's how it goes if you're not gonna
Live in the presence
Of someone
As holy as me...

I sucked your toes
I Folded your clothes
I made you stand on top of the world with the utmost grace
I told myself "Problems jump the ledge just by looking at his face"

I
Tell
The
Leeches hovering around me
That I badmouth you
Just to give Revenge a smile on her face
But here's the simple fact:
Your departure wasn't that bad

It's just that you hurt me
For Christ's sake, you hurt me
I can't believe you hurt me
Can someone stop this hurting?

There
Was
A
Fly in my drink
When I started to wonder
If this entire thing was starting to go under...

All Remains Illuminated

Life is a French movie scene
With characters skipping down the street
Passing pastry shop after pastry shop
And whistling to their own beat

There are no caricatures
There are no addictions to artifice
There are no hypocrites lying on the street
Yelling all our sins into the concrete

Even with an explosion on the set nearby
And as the ending credits descend from the sky
As the undertones of horror make all of us cry
All remains illuminated

Life is a vintage record store
That stretches past the horizon
Curious minds introduced to rapture
As the first notes begin rising

Although the wearing of the discs may show
A scratch in each song's strand
The music still plays as clearly
As diamond dust on dry land

Even with the CD skipping now
And you wanna be a star, but you don't know how
Even as Rolling Stone destroys your sound
All remains illuminated

Even with America straddling on all fours
Even as fire ants invade your shoes' holes
Even as life takes a toll on your lightweight soul
All remains illuminated
All remains illuminated
All remains illuminated NOW.